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"All men have a sweetness in their life. That is what helps them go on. It is towards that they turn when they feel too worn out.

- Albert Camus

/agile fragility/to eventually over~~come~~whelm///

September 13, 2009

oh, you should've seen me, love. right when i got to the center it was around 11 am. i was not prepared, and i was not so sure. i was most definitely looking forward to the next few hours. As every living arts show goes, we were to get our costumes, get our props, and put them in our dressing room to be steamed. Also, the boys have usually been getting the room in the basement over the years. room 11/12 i believe. and it got hella fun when most of the boys started arriving. having closer friends there really does make the experience more 'epic' (:

haha, as i was saying, we met up with errbody and got our costumes and props and shiats and put them in the dressing room. later, we ate and we rehearsed in the vurry big stage at around 4-430? not so sure, but the rehearsal was a nice kick in the goochLOL. i guess i focus really hard to not mess up, or let people down, and have a form of seclusion or over-concentrated vibe. do talk to me about it, because i am just nervous. dont worry. haha, i wanted to make you proud of what i'm doing.

the practice took quite a time. and the hectic level was already up the scale. the tension between dancers and the musicians and stuff were rising? kinda? i felt my anxiety kick in at mine and other peoples dances. i really had to get this right, and so many people were looking out for me, you see. after the further prep, the further prep, and the prayers, say hello to the show.

everything did not go as planned. not everybody was in tip top performance. i am so sure that i wasn't. but i am so aware that i tried my best to show how i can entertain you. please know that you were in my intentions. and that i wish you could be the partner i was dancing with. if i didn't need glasses to see, i'd be searching for you everytime i was on stage.

i cannot exactly sum every rush and tumble on the show, but i can sum that we did fantastic. all of my nervousness that i had on stage, and the plead for sanity, flew away. i was pleased, and so were my friends. and so was everyone else. people applauded me, actually!(:')), and people noticed me. and the friends and family that were watching surely enjoyed our performance. but i thank the fact that you were there. and they were there. and how it seemed to piece together, no matter how altered the pieces became.

i felt ecstatic. and not just subtly. :').