////Jumbled Up In Letters

////

"All men have a sweetness in their life. That is what helps them go on. It is towards that they turn when they feel too worn out.

- Albert Camus

Profile

the name's wilfred.
wilfred avelino j manalili,
but willy's fine enough.
october 12, ever since '94.
the youngest of 3.
you could say i'm one of those random people in the room to fill up the space. but, i don't exactly take that much, haha. im short, but i'm growing! i'm a growing child. and really, you should notice me. you'd get quite amazed, how different i've become over the years. for the better, for the better. anyways, i'm asian. and have great white/yellow/nude skin. and it never obeys me when i try to tan. i'm a dork, i'm peppy, i'm engh. yet, i'm there. and i try to understand. i like gummies, and ice cream, and funnel cake. i like to stay home for my fam, for loafting, for anything. i write, and i draw, and i notice. i tend to get phased out/bored? but hey, i can still party it up. do not underestimate. in education, i'm up there. haha, but not literally. OLMC's treating me good enough. sophomore year, what? i'm so not ready for it. lately, i've been into traveling and going away. experiencing* i'm really trying to boost my shyness up. 'cause, yes, i am originally shy to be around. but, its getting better. i think.

music, computer, food (but no gain), growing up, the "usual"/"yuje".
cannot forget a.t♥ she gets me.

thanks november

November 30, 2009

for all those, beautiful mess,
nooks and crannies.
i'm frikken growing up, and you showed that very nicely, i recall.
and yeah, i've missed a chunk of people,
and i got messed up and didn't exactly know which direction to go,
but i've pulled through.

you, definitely,

have not been ordinary.
kutos.

hahaha, hello december.

a love story

November 29, 2009

a story about love.

500 days of summer is great.
recapping fun is great.
mellowing down is great.
'spooning'? yeah? that's great.
and necks? oh so greatLOL.
love is great.

especially with you, right? only with you.

friday night live

November 28, 2009

SO fun.
i am not going into detail.

it was a friday night live.

my english teacher says

November 27, 2009

to live life like a duck.
even though they look like smooth swimming,
the hell's pedaling under the surface.

i don't know about you,

but ugly ducklings are swans.

i sing sometimes

November 25, 2009

you know that feeling,
when you feel good.
you feel so nice,
your goosebumps start getting the best of you,
and all sorts a'fuzzies are in your face.
no matter what mood you were in before - happy,
angry, depressed, sad, sleepy.
sad -
whatever mood, and something just gets you going?
so much that the other feelings just push aside,
and you frikken sigh?

yeah, love that feeling.

this woman's work

November 24, 2009

happy five months, love

ahhhh, five. thought as, i guess, in half? half way there? we're in it? yeah. this month, forsure, for sure, was my basis of settling. and challenges. there have been so many things that have gotten in my way. like exodus. like friends, and fights, and gossip, and tears. and dreams. what's so sweet about this past month, is that i've felt so close to you. i don't want to leave you, because so many symbols represent you when you're gone. all sorts of stuff remind me of you. and so many things bring up what happen between me and you. and me. happenings, that, i guess, cut in half our way of letting us speak. but we're in it. you do not give up on me. you do not spoil me, nor do you hate me. you work together with me. you are the one that is with me, no one else. with, me. isn't that what i've always wanted?

thanks a splendid for the months
and just for everything.
i love my girlfriend!
i love you, babe.

life support; exodus

November 23, 2009

Mother - I'll be gone in the morning. Around four, my flight's at six.

Son - Will you be long?

Mother - Well, no. I'll be back on December 10. I think in the morning. No wait, I was wrong, 4 pm.

Son - Oh, okay.

Mother - Don't forget to do the laundry. And cook the rice, and wake up your dad in the morning. And clean up, man, finish what you guys have started.

Son - Yup.

Mother - The taxi is picking me up in the morning. I think I should call him now.

Son - I'll be here.

.. i knew i should've said more.

denial

November 22, 2009

i don't wanna grow up. and make my own decisions. and party up and learn things on my own. and drive to my job, or get a job, or get picked up from my job, or meet new people from my said 'job'. and wake myself up at night because i have to do this. or go to bed early because i have to wake up early for that. i don't wanna be successful like that. i don't wanna try hard to be good. i dont wanna look back. i don't wanna strive. i hate missing, and seeing myself missing that. i wanna live again! i hate not living.

i, just, don't wanna grow up

we watched rent

November 21, 2009

and i liked it. a lot.

it was just, really good.
kinda makes me wanna sing.

if only.

fog

November 19, 2009

you don't know for sure the things that happen.

it's just so hard to imagine.

soooo,

November 18, 2009

jeremy caressed my chest this morning.

&people have been grabbing my chicken mcnuggets for days.

i'm a magnet.

that is all

i love my girlfriend

November 17, 2009

because she's with me.

whenever i feel, i always want to tell her. whenever i do wrong, or am wrong,
she's always there for me to turn to. because she's with me, i'm not on my own.

+ cool pacman party, true

November 15, 2009

after halo with my girlfriend and boys, get ready for the pacman fight at richard's house. true. i get there, bringing some xbox controllers to play with him and ryan, but we end up coming back to my houseLOL. turns out it's boring at richard's, and the fight isn't gonna be up until later. so off to my sexy house. waste 2, 3 hours playing odst firefight and taking pictures. nice >;3

&oh yeah, pacman wonLOL. forgot to say that, 'cause yekno, i DID watch it .. >:{D

LOL @ last one.
LOL @ them all.
LOL @ the game ninja.
LOLOLOL.

did it hurt?!

November 14, 2009

mhm fiends. i dont know which one should be which, but really now. lego spartans? thats some legit shit. have some fun once in a while, like jeezus.

+ cool pacman party, true.

cool week, eh

brief summary of things these past days:

- great growth with the baritone playing. haha, much pride
- mockingbird is actually a cool book, honestly
- health's done, and the basketball skills are in dire need of improvement. i try to be a team player though, no matter how bad i play
- sleep late because of late dance practices and videos on youtube. sailor moon, what?
- go shopping with my siblings and buddy craig. also, get lost, endanger old asian ladies in cars, run red lights, and eat some delicious honey garlic chicken w/noodles and rice at manchuwok♥
- performed at emil's concert in christ the king church, which was filled with yummy food, old asian citizens, nice phonecalls around midnight+ backstage stair storage get togethers, all together with my fiesta buds:') great show, guys!

the learning part, like having fun, for example, was always there. it was always there.

hot messes aren't always sweaty

November 10, 2009

but usually they areLOL.

if the craziness, the random outbursts that happen, the drama, the catching up, and the maintaining, and the things that you have to at least do, are my routine, then holy. hoo0o0oly, sweet.
i know that i've been sleeping late nowadays, and getting messes and mixing up some things with other things, but i'm trying my best. to become at least slightly innovative, and open up to people. the only way a person can open to others, is if they.. do. haha, it really is self-explanatory. and well, i'm kinda experimenting with the opening and the accumulation of stuff. i, for one, am enjoying it. and i know that it seems rocky and shaky, but if you look back at it it's kinda nice.

anyways, today was a hot mess. LOL. trips, ventures, planning, heat-ups, connections, games, whines, moans, jokes, mistakes, last minute invites, dancing, sweat, criticism, stress?, and ice cream cake. hot messes aren't always sweaty, since heat doesn't always emit onto people, but in these cases it isLOL. and i'm kinda getting used to hot messes, more the mild, luke-warm kind though. of course i miss reminiscing, but c'mon. hot mess..ing? chyussss!

i need water, and some time.
and some laxatives to drain some of the crap outLOL.
ahhhhh.
saucy.

hi, again

November 8, 2009

in surprise, be, not afraid, of angels that you see. and fear not of demons, and witches and storms. for the pressure that people have upon you, can become withstood. seeing an angel is one thing. but being one, well, is different. everything is different- demons, witches, storms, even pressure- but not angels.

be not afraid of angels.

rent was postponed

November 6, 2009

however, 17 again is a great alternative. hahaha ;)

watching movies with you is actually so fun, because i have someone to talk to. and well, share jokes with. and, ouh, with 17 again, my most FAVOURITE movie of ALL timeLOL, we got to have some nice laughs. from a week full of work and busyness, it's nice to just kick back and watch some zach efronLOL. with justin bieber background musicLOL. ah, you're nice :)

so so very nice :)

you know i hate the word "crying"

November 2, 2009

what can i do that doesn't result to teaching? why do i always have to explain myself. can my actions speak by themselves and just themselves? this isn't fair, it never will be alone.

why can't you notice. is it who you are, or have things gotten you off guard?, what is it? i've processed my thoughts through for so long by myself, and now since i projected it, no one remembers? or remember enough to actually apply it? ..it seems as if what i projected is not that important. but, oh, little things, with their flow of intentions, mean so much to me. they're what get me by.

i've already mentioned our symmetry to you. but i haven't discussed it. i wanted to give you your own time to understand. and, forsure, plenty has happened to help make connections. i am so similar to you! WE have made that happen, and i'm so happy about that. so when you don't understand when things happen between us, at least once, think it's from symmetry, it needs to be, it just doesD:!

i will be so happy if you're happy. you can get so upset when i'm sad. when i'm stubborn, you retaliate. and when we make jokes, we make them together. i laugh, because you are laughing. you smile, because i am smiling. you're so irritated, because i've gotten so obnoxious! and cris-crossed, you get mad when i make fun of you. then automatically, wouldn't it result that i get mad when you make fun of me? and furthermore, wouldn't the way i got you better be the same way for you getting me better? or would the both be opposite. or would we wallow. - why do we wallow? why do we get so frustrated with ourselves for the mistakes we make? we forget the simple things that repair so nicely. we don't remember that we are so alike - you comforting me from your stubborn or foolish or contradictory actions is the same thing i would do if we switched shoes. symmetrically, but not equally, we get to each other.

..

but, when i feel so wrong from things that i've done, i flow it away, through ease. please find ways to serenade yourself back when your frustrated, and cheer yourself back up when something angry has hindered that cheer. we're happy, we're sad, and full of it, we're filled with everything that i've ever wanted. and, unconditionally, explanatory, or not, i love you. do not forget that i love you.

haha, some situations we have remind me of this song.
it just does, :P
tongue*