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"All men have a sweetness in their life. That is what helps them go on. It is towards that they turn when they feel too worn out.

- Albert Camus

Fixation

March 18, 2012

Wilfred, you're here again, where everyone said you'd wind up. why haven't you learned yet? what's keeping you going? what she did hurt you, what he did broke your heart - why are you still looking out for them? sooner or later, you're going to pay too much attention to them, to the point where you mess up something else. someone else, even. don't let there be an eventually. come to terms, and settle things with yourself, because they clearly aren't noticing. so what if you're finally giving up, or if you're throwing away all the effort you tried so hard to earn. life does that to you. it carries you up, then throws you straight down. there's no point in dwelling in temporaries. if they are meant to stay, then they will try. just. don't. wait for it. you're not the most patient person out there, especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships. you are also not the greatest at fixing things. face it, wilfred, sometimes you fixing it will not work. some things won't go as planned, some people won't follow through with your expectations, some people will fade away. the problem with you is that you have such a strong cling. you can't truly let things go. they shape you as a person, the experiences you've had with your past friends. you learn things empirically, and that's completely fine. i just, i hate seeing you upset when things go wrong. if you ask me, you've got a lot of potential - to be a friend, a best friend, a buddy, a support system; anything. you just need to work on your grasp. if something isn't working out, if someone is hurting you, if you aren't liked or valued for you are - then stop holding so tightly. you might be losing moments with people who do cherish you. now i know your integrity, and i now you're hopeful and thoughtful and forgiving, blah blah blah - but you need tangibility. you're a sucker for thoughts, but you fall for feelings. and trust me, just doing you feels right. you genuinely cared, but for some reason things didn't work out. i promise you, something good will come your way. heck, good things are still here, right in front of you - you just have to pay more attention.

i am not going to redirect you from this situation, because i know you will find your way out and right back. but what i can tell you, what i'm so sure of,

you'll be just fine.